Why your Facebook behaviour can make you a slut on Twitter

So, you want to start a Twitter account, huh?

Your best friend has bragged about her account getting her that job at Nike she’s always wanted. Your closest coworker keeps telling you about the tweet he got back from that hot celebrity he fawns over (that sex fantasy becoming ever so much a reality, he claims). Even your Aunt Harriet started a Twitter account (apparently, she’s now up to 12,000 followers).

It’s time you get into the game.

But hold on there cowboy (or girl). You may have 900 friends on Facebook, but if you take your Facebook plan of attack to Twitter, you may be the worst Twitter offender of all – the Twitter porno scammer accounts.

Let’s first start with your photograph

If your Facebook photo includes partial nudity, please stand up (on second thought, please don’t).

Really, whether you are flexing your handsome pecs, showing off your ta-tas, or flashing your new summer body, none of the people on Twitter want to see it.

Remember, twitter is like that classy bar where business people, and families on Disney vacations stop through – it’s not the type of place you would want to dance on the tables and have a make out session with a random stranger (that’s for Facebook).

So, now that you took a photo with all of your clothes on, and your account is started, you have to choose a nickname. You know, that name next to that @ symbol?

Think of one.

Wait, stop right there.

You were about to give yourself a name that includes “sexxy,” “hottie,” or “big Richard,” weren’t you? I mean, that’s how you refer yourself to your Facebook friends (oh, you know you tag yourself like that, don’t lie).

Don’t do that on Twitter. Remember the classy bar effect? Either one of those names will get blocked or at least get followers of your own persuasion who are probably real spam accounts (yes, that hot guy/girl following you does not exist) (as you probably don’t either – admit it, you got that “hottie” photograph from Google Image searching, didn’t you?).

Alright, take a deep breath. Now, you’ve got your classy photograph, your classy user name.

Now, it’s time to start tweeting (let the drunk tweets begin, right????).

Wrong.

First, go wash your mouth out with soap. Yes, now.

While you finish gagging, I will tell you this – no swearing on your tweets. No, I don’t care if Ashton Kutcher does it. Or Lady Gaga. Or your Aunt Harriet. Unless you have a decent following and have been a length Twitter user, swearing should be out.

So when you update your Facebook status about that stoopid bee-otch who cut you off on the freaking road and how you want to beat that bee-otches butt, you should edit that tweet to read something more along the lines of some rude female driver swerved in front of you while you were driving to donate canned goods to the local food kitchen.

Boring? You betcha. Appropriate Twitter behavior? Uh-huh.

Oh, and one last thing.

Remember that revealing photo you didn’t use for your profile picture?

Well, you’ll still want to keep it off of Twitter.

Every drunken photo, make out session evidence, or humiliating evenings with the people you call friends, should really stay off of Twitter.

Just remember your next employer (hey, this is responsible advice, so stop rolling your eyes), will Google you and find this horrifying evidence (all employers fear that in a flat second you would tear off your clothes and do pole dancing using the cubicle wall).

With Facebook, there is Privacy Settings. But take your Facebook behavior to Twitter and you might just be the next Twitter slut.